I have come to realize that I am in the midst of a psychotic breakdown. The fact that I am aware of this gives me hope, because there must be some part of me that is still anchored to reality. Unfortunately, I am only aware of this in my lucid moments. I am currently in the midst of this waking nightmare, in constant fear of when the next episode of insanity will take me over. I am hoping the mere act of writing about these dark, deep secrets will help.